Right, so I've worked it out. Every December, our energy bills go up by about 40% and nobody questions it. That's because we're clearly paying a supernatural tariff to keep the spirits warm during the darkest time of year.
Think about it - central heating mysteriously costs more when the nights are longest. The power companies won't admit it, but they're basically running a heating service for every poltergeist in Britain. It's genius, really. We're all just funding paranormal comfort.
Who else has noticed their boiler sounds like it's possessed when the solstice rolls around? My Worcester Bosch starts making this odd grinding noise around November and it doesn't stop until January. That's not a mechanical fault, mate - that's a haunting.
