Things paranormal investigators say vs what they actually mean

Been lurking on various investigation forums and reading through investigation reports, and I've compiled a little translation guide because paranormal language is absolutely its own dialect. Sharing for your amusement:

'Interesting electromagnetic readings' = We found a plug socket
'Unidentified thermal anomaly' = Someone's boiler is on
'Inconclusive EVP event' = We made up three different stories about what it might have said
'Significant activity in the reported hotspot' = Our equipment went off where we expected it to
'Further investigation is required' = We found nothing and need to justify another visit
'We experienced a presence' = The building was cold and drafty

What else would you add to this list?

'The location has a rich and complex history' = someone died here once
'Multiple credible eyewitness accounts' = one person told their mate about something they vaguely heard
'Unexplained phenomena' = normal building sounds
'Request for experienced team members only' = this place is definitely dodgy please bring witnesses

Brutal but fair. Though to be honest, sometimes the equipment IS just finding what it's supposed to find - mains frequency electromagnetic fields are everywhere indoors, that's just physics. Doesn't mean there's nothing to investigate, but yeah, the interpretation of data is where things get... creative.

'Paranormal sensitivity' = no scientific basis whatsoever
'The spirits were reluctant to manifest' = absolutely nothing happened
'We'll analyse the footage in post-production' = we'll listen until we hear what we want

'Unidentified thermal anomaly'

'The energy in this location was particularly strong that evening' = we got excited because our equipment beeped

This is funny but also a bit mean-spirited to the genuinely curious people trying to investigate stuff seriously with limited budgets and no training. Some of these phrases are used by people who are doing their best with imperfect tools.

'Dowsing rods indicated presence of anomalous energy' = two sticks went wobbly in someone's hands
'Spirit photography captured ethereal manifestation' = a smudge on the lens, definitely