Paranormal investigator starter pack

Paranormal Investigator Starter Pack:

One (1) EMF meter that's never read anything but ambient interference. A torch with mysteriously dying batteries. Absolutely conviction that every temperature drop is supernatural. A notebook full of 'evidence' that wouldn't convince a magistrate. At least one near-physical argument about whether that sound was definitely a ghost or possibly settling floorboards. Thermal camera footage that looks like a potato took the picture. Headphones permanently attached to capture 'EVP' that sound like white noise with good intentions. One friend who's 'very sensitive' but never quite explains what they sense. Months of footage that adds up to basically nothing concrete.

What am I missing? Let's compile the ultimate checklist.

- A folder labelled 'Genuine unexplained incidents' that contains like 3 things and you've explained 2 of them by now
- Absolute refusal to believe Occam's Razor
- One genuinely terrifying experience from 15 years ago that defines your entire worldview
- Always filming vertically even though it fits the frame horizontally

You forgot the most important one: "Complete trust in any eyewitness testimony as long as it supports the paranormal, complete skepticism of any eyewitness testimony that contradicts it." Also: "Dismissing all scientific explanations while simultaneously pretending to be scientific."

This is too real. I spent £300 on an EMF meter last year and it's spent more time detecting my microwave than ghosts. Which, fair, is technically paranormal in the sense that it's confusing.

- The realization halfway through investigation that you're actually just walking through a building in the dark
- One person on the team who's secretly hoping nothing happens
- A voice clip that might be a word if you listen 47 times
- The argument about whether to investigate a location again because you "didn't feel welcome last time"

Quality thread. Also missing: "Thermal imaging 'evidence' that is definitely just a radiator but you'll debate for 6 hours" and "Found a random object and immediately assumed it's a spirit attachment."