If aliens have travelled light-years to reach us, at least they could sort out our broadband

Genuine question though - why is it that supposed advanced extraterrestrial visitors always seem to pick some bloke's field in rural Wales or the middle of the Scottish Highlands to land in? You'd think if they had the technology to cross the galaxy, they might want to visit somewhere more... relevant? Like downloading all of humanity's knowledge from the internet, innit.

Instead we get blurry photos from people with mobile phones from 2003, taken at 3 AM in the rain because nobody ever has a proper camera ready. If I was an alien I'd be well annoyed. 'We travelled 400 light years for this? A Nokia 6210? REALLY?'

This genuinely made me laugh. You're right though - aliens should absolutely be landing at airports, government buildings, places with 5G coverage and decent lighting. Instead we get 'I was out walking my dog near Bodmin Moor at half two in the morning when...' Mate, why are you OUT at that time? Suspicious on its own.

The real question is: if they're advanced enough to cross the galaxy, why haven't they figured out that humanity's governments are useless and just negotiated with Tesco? At least they'd get a decent contract and someone would believe them.

Best theory I've heard is that they deliberately avoid densely populated areas because they don't want mass panic. Logical from their perspective - test the waters on some poor farmer in the Midlands first, see how it goes, then decide if showing up at Westminster is a good idea. Still doesn't explain the dodgy photo quality though.

If I was an alien I'd be well annoyed.

Honestly this made my day. They probably have proper documentation of their visit and it's absolutely crystal clear on whatever intergalactic storage system they use. Meanwhile Dave from Cornwall is trying to convince people a smudge of light on his grainy video is proof of first contact.

You've basically described why I stopped taking most UFO reports seriously. Not because I don't believe something strange is happening, but because the evidence gathering is absolutely atrocious. If even 1% of these stories were genuine first contact, we'd have CCTV footage, multiple professional cameras, thermal imaging. Instead we've got a bloke's mate's cousin who 'heard something weird' and that counts as a sighting.