"I want to believe" memes but make it British

Alright so there's an endless supply of X-Files memes on the internet and they're all fine but they're American. What's the British equivalent?

My contributions:

"I want to believe" → "I reckon there's something to it, like"

"The truth is out there" → "The truth's probably been filed away in some dusty Whitehall archive"

"Trust no one" → "Don't trust the civil service"

This is silly but I'm genuinely curious what a properly British paranormal investigation looks like. It probably involves more tea, more bureaucratic frustration, and saying "I'm not saying it's aliens but... could be aliens."

"The Rendlesham Files" - all the documents are redacted except for one memo that just says "bit weird innit"

"I was abducted by aliens" - "Did you get a cuppa tea off them at least?"

British paranormal investigators would spend three hours discussing whether they should file a FOIA request and another two hours figuring out the exact wording. The actual investigation would be secondary to the paperwork.

"My hobbies include UFO investigation and sitting in the pub discussing how UFO investigation would be easier if we weren't in the pub"

The most British paranormal show would just be someone filing FOIAs, getting rejected because "national security," then sighing into their pint and moving on. No resolution, just bureaucratic frustration and biscuits.