Conspiracy theorist bingo card - how many do you have?

Right, I was in the pub last night listening to someone explain how 5G masts are making the badgers paranoid (genuinely), and I thought: we need a bingo card. Every conspiracy theory conversation hits the exact same beats.

I'll start:

Conspiracy Theorist Bingo:
✓ 'Do your own research' (whilst linking to a YouTube video by someone called TruthSeeker1988)
✓ 'Wake up sheeple' (despite being asleep during most of 2020)
✓ 'The media won't report this' (it's been on the BBC News homepage)
✓ 'They're covering it up' (no evidence of cover, just absence of evidence they care)
✓ 'Mainstream science doesn't want you to know' (which is why they published it in Nature)
✓ Asking for 'peer-reviewed studies' then dismissing every peer-reviewed study presented
✓ 'My friend's cousin knows someone who works there and he said...'

What have I missed? Be honest, even if some of you lot ARE the ones saying this stuff...

✓ Moving the goalposts when their prediction doesn't come true ('No, the REAL date is...')
✓ Seeing patterns in literally everything (clouds are chemtrails, the number 33 appears in historical events, therefore ILLUMINATI)
✓ Claiming 'they silenced the whistleblower' (usually dead from old age)

Brilliant post though. We need this energy on the board sometimes.

'The media won't report this' (it's been on the BBC News homepage)

To be fair though, there ARE legitimate stories the mainstream media doesn't adequately cover. Lobbying influence, corporate corruption, dodgy government contracts. The problem is lumping those in with 'aliens are breeding with the royal family' makes the whole thing sound mad.

I think the real bingo card is about intellectual dishonesty, not belief in weird stuff per se.

✓ Everything is connected (drawing red string between totally unrelated events)
✓ 'If they DENY it, they're obviously lying. If they CONFIRM it, they're admitting the truth.'
✓ Moving from one conspiracy to another when the first falls apart ('Well OBVIOUSLY that one was false flag, but THIS one is real...')

The funniest bit is when someone goes full conspiracy bingo and then wonders why their family doesn't take them seriously anymore.

Mate, some of this is fair but you're being a bit smug about it. Not all institutional scepticism is justified either. 'Trust the experts' is how we ended up with thalidomide babies and asbestos in schools.

The real skill is being critical without being credulous. Which is harder than it sounds.